"Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain"

I remember the first time I watched The Wizard of Oz. I was so upset when I realized the Great and Powerful Oz was simply a grey haired man behind a curtain. In my young heart I was devastated for Dorothy and her friends who had travelled so far and hoped for so much . . . I was disillusioned right along with them.

As I've been reading and learning and searching and praying about bitterness the parallel is a powerful lesson.

Bitterness is big and loud, a mean face with colored smoke and thunder - The Great OZ - it shakes you where you stand so you back up and don't come any closer. It intimidate and scares, it threatens and attacks our peace of mind and confidence.

Yet in reality, behind the big, ugly, loud, mean bitterness (in others and in ourselves) is small fear. Puny in its form, but ashamed, small, and cowering.

Let me show you. Trust me for a minute. I want you to see something.

There is something in your heart that you're bitter about. Oh, you've called it many things, but it's bitterness. Maybe towards some one, some thing, some situation . . . and it gnaws at you. It's angry, ugly, jealous, contempt . . . maybe something you've never even shared with anyone . . . but it's bitter.

See the colored smoke whirl around it, the loudness, in fact, let it get as big and mean as it can possibly get. Let it take its true form, as ugly, spiteful, vengeful, angry as it can get. I hope you'll even turn up the volume and let the words and thunder explode and shake . . .

Ok now. Look to the side and see the small curtain. Carefully pull it back. And let the production, the smoke, the big ugly image, the noise . . . let it stop.

And see what's really behind the curtain.

The big production of bitterness is simply the distraction of our own heart and mind - to distract us from our greatest fear.

"What if its true? What if I really am broken?"
"What if I really am unloveable?"
"What if I really am too far gone?"
"What if I'm really a loser?"
"What if I really am . . . blank . . . "
"What if I really have sinned too much?"
"What if I really do need help . . . "
"What if what they say is true?"
"What if that person never loved me?"
"What if I really did deserve this?"
"What if I can't ever succeed?"
. . . add your real fear here . . .
"What if I really am these things . . . and people really knew . . . "

Bitterness is our minds way of rerouting us away from our real pain. Our real fear.

Now look at that fear - look at it for what it really is. A scared, shaking, big-eyed, lonely hurt.

THAT question is what you take to God Himself. You don't take it to your friends, you don't take it to your ex, you don't take it to Anthony Robbins or Dr. Phil, you don't take it to your old boss who fired you, you don't take it to your church . . . you take that very real fear to God.

You take it to the Bible and find out what God says about it. You take it to God in prayer and listen for an answer from Jesus Himself. You take it as a handwritten letter to the cross and nail it there for Jesus to read and reply . . . HIMSELF.

Only then will the smoke, the thundering, the anger, the production of bitterness disappear from the stage of your life.

The production and ugliness of bitterness is a decoy - to fool you so you won't feel what you really feel anyway.

Bitterness yells, "Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain" - closure says, what's behind the curtain fuels the whole production.

Heal what's behind the curtain. Then bitterness in all its ugliness can disappear.

And what would your life be like if there were sweetness, closure, and peace?

Click your heels together. Come home to yourself. Come home to what's really hurting you. Come home to God and the bigger things He wants to do with your heart.

Face the fear behind the curtain and come home.

Recipe For Bitterness

I have a flour dusted, oil spilled, warped 3 x 5 card that bears the recipe of my mom's famous chocolate chip cookies. That's a recipe everyone begs for. They are delicious, time tested, unforgettable.

Just this morning I came across a recipe for bitterness. Not sure how many will beg for that on a 3 x 5 card, but I hope by sharing it you might see it when its being stirred up in your own life.

Bible: Ruth 3-4 The story of Naomi. It's really the story of Ruth and how God blessed her and kept her, but it's also about Naomi and the recipe for bitterness.

Long story short. Naomi has several sons. They marry and the entire clan moves to a new area. The sons all die. Naomi tells her daughters-in-law to go on with their lives and find new paths. Ruth (one of the daughters-in-law) chooses to stay by Naomi's side and go back to Naomi's homeland with her.

When Naomi goes back to her hometown she is so devastated at how her life has turned out that she tells her friends to call her by a different name. "Mara" - which, interestingly enough, means "bitter mountain".

Naomi says, "The Almighty has made my life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty. Why should you call me Naomi (which means pleasant) when the Lord has caused me to suffer and has sent such tragedy?"

So, we see a recipe for disaster that could apply to us too.

Step 1. Start with Loss of identity - losing our identity in our hurt
Step 2. Add Blame - blaming God (and others) for our losses - never ourselves
Step 3. Mix in the "Has Been" feelings and the "I had it all once . . . " self-pity and sprinkle in the feeling of being robbed unfairly -
Step 4. Bake on high and seal with a victim mentality of "suffering and tragedy"

Naomi was right smack dab in the middle of her own bitterness - a recipe she cooked up out of her own pain. Sadly, she stayed there for a long long time.

She would not allow her heart to feel joy. She clung to how right she was about God being so wrong. She wanted people to know that she had suffered, that she deserved her agony, and that she was a victim.

I know people like this.

I also know people who have had terrible, tragic circumstances play into their lives and they have chosen to claim their divine God-given gifts and callings, have chosen to focus on giving and serving, and have developed an inner gratitude that is magical. They are contagiously happy, warm, loving and encouraging.

They choose to bake up something different in their lives - something sweet, something worth savoring, something they can scoop up in spoonfuls with their children, that fills their home with an aroma that is remembered forever.

Now that? That's a recipe worth having.

* the day following this blog on bitterness I watched my friend Katie's YOUTUBE video. Katie is one of our Heart 2 Home volunteers and comes out on every project, working right along side everyone else in the dirt, paint and chaos. She's a no excuses kind a gal. I've been inspired by Katie and her choice to pursue sweetness. Watch this video and you'll see exactly what I mean. She could have cooked up some fine tasting bitterness in her life and been justified, but instead she created sweetness - and it blesses EVERYONE around her!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-csZlbMGdhM

Driven By My Sweet-Tooth

Yesterday the pastor on TV spoke of bitterness. He spoke of the damage it creates in our hearts and the pain it creates in our lives and our perspective. It really hit home for me.

Things haven't gone the way I'd planned in many areas of my life. It would be easy to slip into bitterness, wrap myself up in it like a cocoon and close up, feeling absolutely justified. Life can make you very bitter if you let it.

But, I see there is a very simple driver in my heart that won't let me.

It's my insatiable craving for sweetness. My God given sweet-tooth.

The Bible says that "for the happy life is a continual feast". There's just way too many sweet things in life to stay bitter.

Laughing with my kids in the kitchen making "tohhh-st" (thank you Nacho Libre), holding my grandbaby and watching her smile in her dreams, my puppy jumping on my bed like a teenager left alone for the weekend, the excitement watching my girlfriend on QVC for the first time . . . it's so so sweet.

I'm driven by my sweet-tooth and completely compelled to spit out the bitterness. Compared to the joy, the laughter, the beauty, the light, the clarity, the satisfaction . . . well, there is no comparison.

I carefully peel back the cupcake paper liner revealing another helping of relationship, thankful for the goodness, the kindness, the sacredness . . . and glad I've learned this about myself. I believe life was meant to be sweet.

No matter the road. No matter the trial. No matter the possibility of bitterness.

Thank you God for giving me a hunger for sweetness. It keeps me ever vigilent for the next sweet fix and always grateful for the moments I am able to revel in it.

Snotbubbles and Grace

There's something about snotbubbles and grace.

In struggles we fight the tears, we fight that we're right, and we fight our position. We wall up, clam up and shut up to maintian our ground and maintain our dignity.

And then, something clicks in our hearts, God sprinkles some kind of magic fairy dust, and for whatever reason grace comes crashing in. Past the walls, past the fear, past the "rightness" of our position and perspective, past the dignity . . . and sure enough . . . there's the snotbubble.

And then you know.

Weird how that is.

But you know God lives, He has a plan for your life, even though that path takes you to hell and back, and you know you are desperate for His grace.

Nobody wants to surrender. Nobody wants to admit wrong or lose dignity. Nobody wants the snotbubble moment. There comes a point when you must. For your own good.

Right there in the middle of the snotbubble and grace you start hearing in the back of your mind that age old Journey song "Don't stop believin . . . hold on to that fee-leh-innn".

Amazing how God gives us signs that make sense only to us.

Journey, snotbubbles and grace.

The perfect combination for surrender.

Outside The Boat Thinking

When we're in the thick of a problem its hard to see the answer among the variables before us. Our own human pathology got us into our crisis, our dilemma, our storm, and that same pathology lacks the missing link to get us out. We've got to think "outside the box" or as I like to say "outside the boat".

In our emotional and spiritual storms the waters rage around us and we're tossed about, fearing all is lost. We don't have the answers. Surely this sad foresaken ship is bound to sink.

The disciples were in the same situation. Storm raging, waves crashing, thunder and lighting tormenting. Nothing inside the boat could calm the storm, right the rudder or shelter them from the whitecaps. They were adrift with no escape and they feared the worst.

From the mist a voice called to them. The voice of the Master.

A voice that stilled the winds and the waves. A voice that answered their greatest fears.

Christ approached the vessel miraculously walking on water, and the storm was over.

The answer came from outside the boat.

As you survey the storms around you today, know that the answer you need is not inside your human toolbelt somewhere. It is not inside your reasoning, your box, it is not some new strategy, it is not some hype or drug. The answer that will bring peace is not inside your circle of friends, not on Dr. Phil, and not in the latest greatest Og Mandino chant. Although those things may open your heart and help you ask deeper questions, with deeper insight, the real answer, the ULTIMATE answer will come from "outside the boat" thinking.

So in your storm pray for the answers you DON'T have, the answers you've NEVER had before, the revelation you are DESPERATE for. Not the answers you've used before to simply plug holes and bail water to stay afloat.

The POWERFUL, storm-calming answer will come from "outside the boat" thinking.

To Bite Again - Or Not To Bite Again - That Is The Question

Over the last couple of years there's been an explosion of teen vampires in movies, paperback, hardback, and literally on backs (in the form of t-shirts). The theme of being bitten for love, and even the theme of eternal love, has been the romantic premise for the bat-like fangs and pale white skin. Once bitten one can never go back. The act transforms the human into vampire being, now destined to live forever in the darkness and be tormented by the need for more blood.

Thank heavens that is not real life. And thank heavens that God has a bigger plan than the life of a vampire.

The word "remorse" actually means "to bite again" from the latin word "modere". And sin, yes, has a bite. It is painful. Our guilt has us feel that bite over and over and over and . . . well, you know . . . you've been there.

When we make awful, rotten, human mistakes - even huge ones, shameful ones, ones that sting - there is forgiveness. Not just a little forgiveness. All the forgiveness.

We wish we could go back and change our decision, but we can't. Thankfully even with our biggest, most painful bites, God can still transform our nature. Not just for now, but for eternity.

While God forgives us immediately, we must also forgive ourselves . . . and not allow the phantom sin to bite again.

Remorse is one part of guilt. And it's not the healing part.

The final scene is that of wholeness. No guilt. No two-pronged vampire bite scarred on our necks to forever remind of us a wretched past. "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." Really. The atonement covers all. End of chapter. End of book. End of sin. Forever. Period.

The hopeless romantic in me just found hope again. What a great ending to the greatest love story of all.

Lost In The Fog

As we pursue the path of our lives it is essential that we evaluate our motives. What are the driving forces behind the decisions that we make? What are the investments we are making along the way, and what do we hope is our final destination?

At times, and in certain seasons of growth and change, we feel lost in a fog. We feel paralyzed to move forward, incapable of seeing past our own feet, and trapped in a suffocating blanket of uncertainty. We have no vision, limited hope and perspective.

Author Susan Forward in her book "Emotional Blackmail" speaks to this FOG. When we are controlled by Fear, Obligation and Guilt, especially when we are in relationships that use that pattern to motivate outcomes, we cannot see our true path. Relationships that put us in a "fog-like" mindset are disabling and paralyzing.

Reading the Old Testament I am reminded that the children of Israel were led by a fire in the day and a cloud at night. The right path for them was clear when they followed those two signs.

It is an interesting connection then the image of fire, often trite sayings refer to having "a fire in my belly", passion, light, excitement, drive. When we have a "fire under our behind" we have a renewed energy and focus to complete it.

And clouds...clouds inspire creativity, looking up heavenward, imagination, and beauty. Our path to God, our path to happiness, and our path to our divine mission in life must be led by both passion and creativity, drive and hope, conviction and vision.

So in your life are you being led by passion and vision or are you stuck in a FOG? Do you dream freely or are you bound by unhealthy patterns?

God is the God of clarity, passion and big vision. FOG can lift, and the path can be made clear if you have the courage to address the FOG for what it is. Keep your eyes up and follow the clouds . . . even if you just watch them for a few minutes at a time . . . there is more possible than you ever imagined. God is the God of clarity and can find you even in the thickest FOG.