The Devil - Up Close and Personal

I've been tempted in my life. Haven't you? Tempted to do the wrong thing, tempted to lash out, tempted to think terrible, mean-spirited thoughts. Oh, I have been.

And, I've been convinced by my pride that I'm right, determined to war or seek revenge, seek my own reward, and I've at times even been tempted to play the martyr and soak in self-pity like a bubble bath til I was shriveled up like a raisin.

I never see it in the exact moment for what it is. It always fools me.

Why is that?

I think I've learned something. A major "aha" in my life as of just days ago.

When the devil is in your face, you will NOT see if for what it is. You CAN'T. Because he'll never look like the devil up close and personal. Like a ghost or a vapor, you will sense him there lurking in your problems, your drama, your anger, but you won't be able to really see how big or ugly he is until the light comes - hours, days or sometimes even years later.

In the light of truth, the light of wisdom, the light of hindsight, or the light of conviction, the devil can be clearly seen. Stepping back a few paces from the situation, the drama, the problem, the challenge, you can see him clearly - seeking to tear you down, confuse the issue, breed fear, create division and destroy your self-esteem and life mission.

So, the key when you find yourself questioning your actions, your motives, your wisdom, your faith, and it doesn't feel good to your soul . . . put some distance between you and the devil - take some alone time with God and see your life as heaven sees it . . . and what you'll find is the Devil's been in your face . . .

Enter Jesus. Arms open wide enough to put some distance between you and that deceptive joker. Arms open wide enough to help you see your possibilities and limitless value. Sacred space.

For with Jesus it is personal as well. Bring any problem, challenge, bitterness or loss to Him and He'll shine a light. So bright that the devil disappears like a vapor. And what is left is truth, strength, grace and love . . . hold that close . . . for with those you can never be deceived. And it will feel good to your soul. So good.

Getting What You Deserve

Today our home makeover family returns. A week ago their charred timbers stood silent as the roaring equipment took swipes to level it to the ground. Now a house three times the size stands in its place - beautiful, clean and safe. People walk through each decorated room with jaws open, oohing and ahhing.

And then the question always comes in some form or another . . . "Do they deserve all this?"

The answer is "no".

This family has done nothing to earn the hundreds of volunteer hours or thousands and thousands of dollars in donations to plan, frame, build, floor and decorate this new home. They have done no acts of heroism, no great achievement, no historical discovery . . . they are just sweet simple people.

And they did nothing to merit their 9 year old daughter Samantha dying of H1N1 last fall. They did nothing to deserve a fire two months late that destroyed their safety, their memories, and their stability. They didn't deserve any of that.

That's where grace steps in. Grace is the healer that wraps it's arms around those in undeserved pain - and even "deserved" pain - and whispers the words "Be whole". Grace is the kindness, the unexpected support, the cheering on your side when all is lost. Grace is the movement to restoration, the smile of understanding, the compassionate listening. Grace is what makes the difference for all things deserved and undeserved.

God at the end of my life may I come to a great mansion with you. A home I do not deserve, but a place of hope and rest forever.

May I have grace to cover me, both my undeserved pain and my deserved - thank you God for being so big, so kind, so loving, that you have grace big enough to cover it all. Even when I do not deserve . . .

Clash of Pride

We went to see "Clash of the Titans" yesterday. I really wasn't interested in seeing it. Truly, I dragged my feet and almost made us late. The movie just looked like a blast of swords, guts, sweat and demons. Not my favorite flavor of entertainment.

As I slouched in my deep theatre chair, completely devouring the buttery popcorn in my boredom, I was suddenly interested. Hmm. I sat up taller. Greek mythology. I remember . . . hmm. This could be interesting. So I gave it my attention. And then I was sucked in. Totally.

I won't ruin it for you, I'll just say go see it. It moved me to think deeper.

There is a theme throughout that struck me. Zeus continues to try and help his demi-god son Perseus conquer evil. Zeus sends gifts, a special sword, a Pegasus (horse with wings), a gold coin . . . and the young man refuses the gifts. Out of pride he wants to conquer the world himself. He does not want help.

In the end, our young hero surrenders and recognizes his dependence . . . as we all do.

And I realize that God is even more great than Zeus, even more kind and merciful, more pure in devotion for us His children, and more committed to our sucess than any great power in Olympus.

Everything God does is out of love. What gifts has He given you that you are not fully embracing along this road to conquering evil? And in your pride are you ready to accept His gifts so you can be victorious?

Isaiah 41:10 "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."

So, go see "Clash" and think about God. You are His child. Embrace the love He extends to you and see how victorious you can be.

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted

I love to watch American Idol and see the contestants grow in their skill and presentation. As a non-singer I truly appreciate their courage and tenacity under the scrutiny of tough critics.

The other night one of the final few sang "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted" - and the words continue to swirl around in my head, stirring up memories and thoughts like leaves caught up in a wind devil.

"As I walk this land of broken dreams, I have visions of many things. But happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion . . . I walk in shadows searching for light, cold and alone no comfort in sight."

Each one of us could sing that ballad. What becomes of the broken hearted? We've all had dreams that have crumbled, fallen apart, unravelled, or been swept away by the tides of change. With the loss of dreams, hopes are dashed and with the barren twigs of winter we can become cynical and angry, doubting that spring will ever come.

What becomes of the broken hearted?

Many of my clients are motivational speakers. They have ALL experiences a tragic loss, major accident, many times paralysis or horrific unthinkable challenges. And coming out the other side, now share their insights with others.

Then there are those I meet however, who, when dreams are lost and hearts are broken, follow the path of least resistance and become hostile, vengeful, angry and bitter. The difference between the two is all in how they answer that American Idol question - "what becomes of the broken hearted?".

My friend, how do you answer that question? Your answer, whether you realize it or not, is written boldly across your life.

The Bible gives us comfort here. God knew our greatest losses would take us to a barren place. God promises to meet us there and save us in our pain. Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the broken hearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit."

We can be rescued and upheld when all seems lost. Even in the coldest winters God has spring planned for us.

As I look out the window of my beautiful new home I see evidence on the trees that new growth is budding. Spring is coming. The snow is melting, the sun is bright, and love and hope and joy steadily encourage me to trust again. Thank you God ~

What becomes of the broken hearted?

Your answer is written all over your life. Your answer to that question will drive every action in your life.

I choose to believe in spring. Hum to yourself today that tune. And ask yourself . . . what becomes of the bro - ken hearted? . . . da da da . . .

Brave Friends vs. Stupid Friends

When I was younger I had friends who did stupid things. Sadly, like a puppy dog I would follow them and do the same stupid things. Things that destroyed our health, things that impacted our schooling, and things . . . that while fun in the moment . . . proved to be devastating in the end. Call it peer pressure or just stupid by osmosis, I lowered my life to the level of behavior accepted by the group. Even when I knew better.

As I've grown older I'm attracted to a different kind of friend. I'm drawn to friends that have outrageous dreams, big goals and keen ambition. Now, these friends too have fun in the moment, but they gauge that fun by the joy it brings them and the way it impacts the world. They do crazy things, inspiring things, like race 4X4's though they are wheelchair bound, go skydiving, produce a movie trailer of their own show, bust drug deals and save babies, open and design their own clothing lines, open for Macy Gray, get on QVC and win international cookbook awards. These friends are nuts - and yet, these crazy friends raise the level of my life - and raise the bar on the dreams I set for myself.

Whereas before I was attracted to stupid friends - friends who really weren't stupid, but who naively misused their time, their abilities, and their passion - THESE friends, these BRAVE friends encourage me to use mine.

So, I'm making a dream board of the goals I want to accomplish in my life. Sweet husband? Check. New house? Check. Yellow XTERRA? Check. Trip to Caribbean? Check. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Now on to publish my first children's book, raise funds for another family stricken with cancer, jump out of an airplane. Take singing lessons. See the Eiffel Tower - again. Stupid goals? Nope. My friends say I'm as crazy as they are.

How blessed my life will be if I am!

In The Ring

I'm not one to usually pick a fight. My personality is fun seeking, spontaneous, and a people pleaser. I hate to admit this, but for the last little while I've had trouble managing my hostility, my frustration, and my tolerance for life's inconsistencies and hurts.

Unintentionally I've been argumentative, cynical and destructive, when I could have been loving and understanding. I have lacked compassion, peace and wisdom. I think its all caught up with me.

When bad things happen in life, no matter how much faith we have, no matter how much we love God and want to do the right things, and no matter how much we WANT to handle things well, the bad things that happen to us hurt - sometimes to the core. When tragedy strikes we often lose our dreams, our confidence and our sense of direction. We lose relationships or money, sometimes both, and more often than not we lose our passion.

Just like a child fighting to put on a shoe - we sit there screaming at the frustration because things are not working. We want to hit something and start punching and swinging in the air as if sheer hostility will produce results. We're mad because we're hurt and we can't control it. Sadly, we end up, I've ended up, lashing out at the sweet people in my life who really matter.

I was told that part of the grieving process is anger - anger at the loss and anger because it feels unfair. I did not necessarily feel that before now. Thought I was able to skip that somehow with the wonderful blessings that came into my life - love, a new marriage, improved health, financial stability. But in the grieving cycle, whether in the moment or years down the road, every part of the cycle will come up emotionally until a person is well and whole. An experience two days ago is helping me put things into perspective.

Tuesday I met a woman whose husband is dying. Introduced through a mutual friend, I had been asked to talk with her about what she is currently, and will be, going through. We sat and shared details - talking about finances, special physical needs her husband has, help she needs to continue running her household as he weakens . . . and I saw it. In her eyes was the devastation, the horror, the deer-in-the-headlights look . . . and the fight.

The anger we feel in our lives, placed rightly, gives us the fight we need to endure long periods of painful suffering, changes and losses. That energy of injustice helps us find solutions and have clarity and focus when everything is out of control. God gave us that fight.

Fighting the "good fight" then becomes the lesson.

Fighting the "good fight" infers that there is also the "bad fight". Which is what I've been fighting. The bad fight is the crazy punches into the air in the ring trying to hit something, anything, or anyone. It is the roadrage, the domestic violence, the "going Postal" - that never has a solution only a cost. The only solution to fighing the bad fight is surrendering your weapons and resentment to God and praying for peace.

God show me how to fight the "good fight" and how to heal my anger about the losses and changes in my life. Help me remember that You are in the changes with me carrying me to higher ground. You make a wide path for my feet to keep me from slipping - help me not be angry about the journey with You. Help me be a tool for building people not a wrecking ball. Jesus was a carpenter - a hammer weilded rightly constructs and connects things, it does not crush them. Help me bring people together not create division. Help me surrender my anger if it does not fuel right thinking.

Help me see the beauty of this new path, the new hopes, the new joys and honor the miracles you've done for me. You are good and have caused the desert to bloom and the rivers to flow again in my life after the drought. Help me not focus on the drought but the renewal that has come.

Truly God, you have already won the fight. Let my heart be good with that.

Don't Skip A Beat

Watching the Olympics, enjoying the mango salsa and tortilla chips under my warm blanket, I was taken aback by couple's ice skating. Couple after couple would make mistakes, fall, slip, miss a spin . . . and scramble to their feet again to their next jump. Instantly dazed and certainly devastated, they would just as quickly be required to summon new focus and momentum to perform the next spin with speed and accuracy.

When the skaters would err, I in my comfy circumstances would cringe for them - even hurt emotionally for them - to think of the hours, days, months and often years that they had been preparing for this moment. Putting myself in their skates so to speak, I could feel the forces of disappointment, embarrassment, sadness, frustration and disappointment at each failing. In my mind it would be easy to choose to quit, to walk off the ice in humiliation - especially if you knew you had lost.

However, watching them continue through each movement to the end of their planned program, IN SPITE of the falling, the missteps, the lowered score . . . it reminded me that when we fail, we fail most when we quit.

When we hang out in our losses, hang out with our failures, we lose time, energy, momentum and self-confidence. Failing is part of being human. It is what makes success and victory so sweet and so magical when it happens. Success is riddled with failings. How we respond when we fail makes all the difference.

This program of life is short - our chance on the ice is limited. The music will end. The plan that we have for our lives, and most definately the plan God has for our lives is in motion right now. Don't skip a beat. Don't give up and leave the ice dejected just because you fall. Gather your strength, remember your goal and find your place again. The music is playing beautifully and the crowd is still cheering you on. There is a plan. Hold your head up and keep skating. Don't even skip a beat.