Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Paul's "F _ ck-It" List

The doctors have told us that it is not a matter of "if" but a matter of "when" in regard to Paul's cancer situation. So, as time is becoming a priceless commodity, Paul sat down to write a "Bucket List".

Over a period of days the reality of the circumstances has influenced Paul's list. Things that never had been options or desires in the past are now becoming signficant and do-able. In fact, the very name of Paul's list has changed. He now lovingly refers to it as my "F _ ck-It" List. (pardon the bluntness!) Anyone who knows my husband will understand.

See a real ice-berg. Drive the Cobra across the country. Eat more bacon. He has even talked about getting a tattoo. Why? Well, time is short. "F _ ck-It" Paul says. Why the hell not get a tattoo? : )

From this perspective so many things look different. The "why" and "why nots" of life just do not have the same arguments anymore. Some things are just stupid given a short timeline. Some things are no longer important.

And then there is God. Then there is our family.

Yesterday Paul sat and played poker with the kids - betting chips with no regard to consequence - and all of them laughing and squealing with abandon. The dishes sat in the sink. The dust accumulated on the furniture. The IRS called and the phone just kept ringing.

I'm grateful that Paul has his priorities straight. He reminds me when to say to hell with things - and when to say to heaven WITH them.