Friday, January 15, 2010

Damn Lucky

There's been a lot of turbulence in my life over the last 2 and a half years. More than any other time in my forty plus years. A car accident, moves, selling furnishings, more moves, cancer treatments for my spouse and as a mother of five children, losing my spouse to cancer.

It messes with your mind. It messes with your thinking. Even on my best days there is a gray cloud that sits in my peripheral waiting for the wind to blow and have it cover the sun. I'm working on the emotional reprocussions of the past two years - and it may take quite a bit more time to process it all.

There are words that haunt me when that dark cloud comes - words like "tragic", "widow", "alone", "death", "loss", "broken", and "final". And in the midst of trying to move forward with my life in positive ways, I hear this negative chatter tormenting me and getting in my way.

Then I found the bracelet. The bracelet that says just one word. The right word.


I wear it all the time.

Every time I look at it I say the word to myself. In fact, I've gotten so excited about the changes that I feel in adopting the word that I now say to myself "Damn Lucky!"

I am lucky. I could've been handicapped or dead after that car accident. I am lucky - I always had a roof over my head even when I worried sick over finances during cancer treatments. I am lucky - I knew an incredible amazing man who forever changed my life for the better and I know he is with Jesus - safe and at peace and in no more pain. I am lucky - I have wonderfully resilient children, incredible friends and family and a purposeful career that makes me smile every single day.

I decide the words I live by. I decide the energy I will give them. And I will remind myself of the truth about the path I've walked and the future God has for me. A simple bracelet that echoes the truth right from God. My life could have been so different. But here I am.


Yes I am.

And friend so are you. Maybe you just need a bracelet to remind you : )