"No. And I mean HELL no."
My friend Clay egg'd me on. "Hey, if I can jump out of a plane - YOU can!" My face could not mask my surprise when Clay explained that he, Scott and I's quadreplegic rock-crawling celebrity friend, jumped tandem out of an airplane.
I shook my head emphatically. "There is NO way I would ever do that - not in a million years. I'm afraid of heights! I'm just too scared."
That conversation took place some months ago. It haunted me.
How do I coach people in my speaking presentations or in my one-on-one sessions, to face their fears if I can't. How do I tell people to transform their pain, their terror, their loss, into a monument if I have do-able issues blocking me?
Do I believe that fears can be overcome? And what is my fear of heights, fear of dying, lack of trust costing me personally in some big areas of my life? What would happen if I faced those fears?
As Clay and I's conversation - and more specifically - as my response to his jumping worked on me - "Not in a million years. I'm just too scared." I decided I had to do it. I do not let - or won't let - fear drive my life. I absolutely believe that passion must be in the driver's seat to create an amazing exciting monumental life.
So I jumped.
Yeh. I jumped.
And now after jumping my whole life is different.
Everything I thought I knew about my own fear was wrong. Everything I thought I knew about myself has changed. Because that was THE biggest fear I've had in my whole life - at the top of my fear list - and it's now checked off . . . not only checked off . . . but with inked hearts and exclamation points surrounding it . . . every fear in decending order below it now looks puny and threatened. My biggest fear - which at one time had inspired visions of death, panic, anxiety and terror - now inspires squealing, adrenaline and laughter.
In my own mind, I had made skydiving THE biggest "I can't" in my life - and now I did.
I'm now questioning every fear that blocks me because of the 360 view of the planet from 13,000 feet with nothing but sick air and a huge grin.
Am I afraid of a little challenge? No. Hell no.
A coy smirk erupts across face and my mind scrambles back to the doorway of a tiny plane, rocking - "ready, set, go!"
I want to see how puny my little fear is . . . and how big my life could be . . .
I'm holding nothing back now. Bring it.