My stack of library books makes me grin. Evidence that my interests are all over the place. I absolutely LOVE the library. 10-15 books in hand for a mere $5 library card fee - oh, I think I've just died and gone to heaven.
On top of my happy little stack is a marketing book. It caught my attention as I am continually looking to grow my business. However, something about the title has me reflecting more on my relationships than my business.
"Waiting For Your Cat To Bark?" - by Bryan & Jeffrey Eisenberg. Hmmm. It's about marketing. But, wow. That says volumes about some of my relationships!
That's the answer I think to some of the biggest funks I've been trying to resolve personally. I've been waiting for certain cats in my life to bark. They aren't going to, I can't make them, and they are just always going to be who and what they've always been. You can't force someone to be nice, kind, gracious and appreciative - even if you give them everything you'd think they need. Even if you become a doormat through all of the giving. You can't compel people to be compassion if they aren't. And you can't expect tact from people who don't think tender thoughts. It's just not in them.
This totally goes against everything I've ever thought about people. I've always thought you could reason people into kindness and compassion. Give them enough mercy, attention, respect, and time, and they will yearn for peace and relationship.
Therein lies the biggest waste of energy in my life. Yes, this is monumental. You cannot, I cannot, change the hearts of people who choose to be angry and miserable. It's like waiting for a cat to bark.
What you can do however, is recognize it is about THEM not YOU, and spend your energy building your life around people who choose mutual respect, kindness, and gratitude. People who share the same vision of goodness in life . . .
. . . and then realize that there are those who will be mean and nasty because they choose to be mean and nasty. And not spend your valuable life moments taking it personally or banking on that to ever change.