With Paul going through cancer treatments I receive phone calls and emails throughout the day asking for updates and more importantly, loving family and friends ask, "Tiffany,how are you?". Honestly, I am learning a lot.
So, this blog hopefully will be a place for me to share what God is teaching me. Some of it may be useful in your walk with God and in your challenges - some of it may just be a place for me to share my heart with you.
Today I washed my minivan - something I do weekly (sometimes more if the kids have eaten fast food!).
It struck me as so mundane as we wait for the scheduled day and time next week that my husband will have jaw replacement surgery. Here I am doing something so basic while life as we know it will shortly change. And I thought to myself - I'm thanking God for those moments in the shallow end of the pool. Certainly right now there are more than enough moments spent in the "sink or swim" areas - so, simple things, basic things, like washing my car, doing the dishes, vaccuming . . . even folding laundry . . . have become some of the most theraputic things I can do for myself.
As I fold, as I wash, and as I vaccum God visits me with verses that restore my soul.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good."
"Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life."
"I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
"The Lord has plans to prosper you and not harm you."
Like refreshing water running over me - removing the rough spots - the rebellious spots - the angry spots - the cynicial spots - I see that God is changing me during these moments. Shallow as they may seem - God is taking my heart deeper. And I see God's eternal vision and purpose in my life and in the lives of my husband and children - God wants their hearts just like He wants mine. He wants me to trust Him 100% - not 70%, not 85%, not even 99%. He wants me to let go completely of what I can see with my eyes.
I am now swimming in much deeper water than I ever wanted. I had no intention of going this deep into pain, crisis and separation. Yet, going this deep is showing me the character of God - I can truly trust Him even when I'm going off the deep end.