Wednesday, May 7, 2008

When It Sucks You Gotta Say It

My daughter asked me what is the one thing we know about all smokers?

A former smoker for years myself, I scratched my head and thought for a minute. Hmm. "I dunno. What do we know about all smokers?" I asked back.

"They all suck!" - my daughter laughed so hard she had to buckle over! Oh duh! Funny pun on words! Yes, they all suck literally. In the very sense of the word, they do all "suck".

We got some pretty harsh news yesterday. After more and more tests the surgery we knew was going to be awful for Paul will be about 100 times worse. The process, the recovery - all worse. All harder.

Every bit of what we heard completely "sucked". I looked at my poor husband and felt a loss so great I could not breath. As the news continued to sound more and more unreal I could feel my lunch creeping up into my throat - and did I mention it was last week's lunch? Every bit of me wanted to hurl - I truly could not digest what I was hearing.

Today sharing the updates with family and friends, all I could say is "This absolutely sucks. Totally and completely."

There really isn't another word for the situation - no going back and what is ahead is well, I hate it, hate it, hate it. And that is putting it lightly. I hate the thought of my husband going through one inch of this. It's not fair. He is amazing. He doesn't deserve this. It's not right - and at moments I could really let the "s" word fly! (s_ _ k)

I'm grateful that I have friends and family who let me tell it like it is. They are a bit angry for Paul too! They're not offended by my language - they agree.

So class, what do we know about all cancers? They all suck. Literally.